Cake It Up

One day at work, I took a seat at the table in our staff kitchen and pulled out my sad-looking lunch of apple slices and a turkey sandwich. A few other coworkers took seats around me and set about fixing their own meals. Everyone chatted politely about how their days were going so far, and then the conversation gradually drifted onto the subject of dieting.

I’m sure you know what conversation I’m talking about. Everyone goes around the table and lists the various foods they’re currently depriving themselves of in the never-ending pursuit to be slimmer. On this particular day, some were denouncing the evils of carbs, some were avoiding dairy, and others were giving the stink-eye to any non-lettuce food item whatsoever.

Usually, when it’s my turn to “share,” I simply shrug off the questions by making a joke (deflecting with humor? So unlike me), and then continue to cheerfully munch on my delicious-tasting carbs and dairy products.


This time was different, however. Maybe I was having a rough day, and my defenses were already down. Maybe after weeks of hearing this lunchtime ritual repeated over and over, it was finally getting to me a little. Either way, I found myself looking down at my sandwich and apple… and getting really frustrated.

Was my sandwich, consisting of turkey, mustard, spinach, and cheese really THAT unhealthy? Should I start eating more salads, and less bread? Should I give up fruit, since it has sugar? But wait – I thought the sugar in fruit was okay for you. Now you’re saying any and ALL sugar is bad?

My confusion continued to grow, fueled by a feeling of indignation. I sat there at the table, steaming inside, while my face pretended to be enthralled in a discussion about the merits of Kale vs. Spinach.


Get it? I was STEAMING over kale and spinach. Okay, I’ll stop.

From my irritation, I reached a conclusion that brought me an ounce of satisfaction:

I can choose to eat bread and not feel guilty about it.

I will do my best to eat a variety of things to keep my body and mind healthy, but I will not mentally punish myself if I eat a cupcake. I will not let others’ negative comments about the wickedness of dairy enter my brain when I’m drinking a glass of milk. I will continue to prepare my meals as I see fit, and try really hard to not be so influenced by others.

I’m young, healthy, and this is the only life I’m going to get, so I’m going to choose to eat some fucking carbs.


As I picked up my sandwich (my new symbol of defiance) and chewed with vigor, Taylor Swift’s song “Shake it Off” suddenly popped in my head. Her lyrics were already somewhat relevant to my situation, but as some sort of odd coping mechanism, I started channeling my thoughts and aggravation into a song of my own.

I wound up with this rebellious little ditty. Read it to the tune of Swift’s “Shake it Off:”

I eat too many carbs
They’re not good for my heart
that’s what people say, mm mm
That’s what people say, mm mm

I should eat some more protein
Maybe that would make me lean
At least that’s what people say, mm mm
But I just want more cake, mm mm

Oh, all that pasta
Pizza, cookies, chocolate
It’s like I’ve got this tempting in my mind,
saying, “just one more little bite.”

‘Cause Atkins gonna hate hate hate hate hate
Say, ‘you gotta lose some weight weight weight weight’
Baby, I’m just going to cake cake cake cake cake – cake it up! Cake it up!
Well, the experts they all fight fight fight fight fight
About which foods are right right right right right
Baby, I’m just gonna nom all night night night – nom all night! Nom all night!

What kind of diet hates on fruit?
Oh, that is just no good
I gotta have my grapes, mm mm
Don’t care that I’m no waif, mm mm

I think I could give up some meats
Oh, it wouldn’t be easy
But as long as I have cheese, mm mm
It’s all better with some cheese, mm mm

Oh, all that pasta
Pizza, cookies, chocolate
It’s like I’ve got this tempting in my mind
saying, “just one more little bite.”

‘Cause Atkins gonna hate hate hate hate hate
Say, ‘u gotta lose some weight weight weight weight’
Baby, I’m just going to cake cake cake cake cake – cake it up! Cake it up!
Well, the experts they all fight fight fight fight fight
About which foods are right right right right right
Baby, I’m just gonna nom all night night night – nom all night! Nom all night!

12 thoughts on “Cake It Up

  1. First of all, why is this on the feminism tag? It’s not really related to feminism. Second of all, tell those coworkers that carbs, even refined carbs are good for you. They give you the energy you need and doesn’t make you fat. Third of all, you don’t care about weight but what about your health? Dairy is linked to osteoporosis and a relative of mine got breast cancer from dairy. Plus, dairy was so easy to cut out of my diet, and made me lose almost all my acne (not that I care about that). And it’s not just about you, you should hear what they do to the cows.


    1. Hi Kaitlyn! 1. My bad on the feminism tag – I think I started to type the ‘f’ for ‘food’ and then clicked enter without paying any attention. Must have been my excitement about this post 🙂 Fixed now!

      2. That’s a good point about carbs being good for you – but it seems like people hear different things about nutrition from different places, so sometimes it’s hard to have that discussion! Plus, I don’t mind what others do in their diets! My frustration in this post stemmed from the situation in general.

      3. I certainly do care about my health, and I hadn’t heard about dairy being linked to either breast cancer or osteoporosis. I did a quick internet search, and it appears while dairy MAY have an association with osteoporosis, it definitely was not strong enough to be considered CAUSE, and is still under review. An inhaler I used to use had a stronger connection, and yet doctors believed the benefits outweighed the risk!

      The only thing I found about dairy and breast cancer is that it’s currently being studied – as in, no results yet. But this was just a quick search – maybe you have a source from a professional study that you’d like to give me? Also, hope your relative is doing okay!


      1. 1st, I want to apologize about my earlier comment. My tone was rude. 2nd, look at Freelee the Banana Girl, she eats an entire bowl of pasta a night. She looks very skinny. So that’s plenty proof, also I eat a ton of carbs and I’m considered skinny. But I don’t care about that, I care about how much energy and nutrients I am getting. 3rd, Read the China Study, it has everything you need to know about meat/dairy. And it’s official because he’s a doctor that spent a long time testing his theories. He actually grew up on a dairy farm so he would know. Watch this: There isn’t THAT much right now about dairy because it can actually be addicting and people want to shelter themselves from the truth. Also, watch Gary Yourofsky on youtube. He has great videos. My relatives doing good, she might die soon so…:(

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thanks for the links/sources. I checked into The China Study, which I hadn’t heard of before. Campbell makes a lot of really interesting points, and I’m sure the book is well-worth the read; however, other well-established medical professionals have major problems with his ideas, mainly because they’re based on some poorly designed studies. That doesn’t necessarily throw out his ideas of course, but it does place major doubt on them.

        I think health and nutrition are things that we’re constantly learning more about, so the information & advice are constantly changing. I think each individual just has to decide for themselves what their priorities are, and make health decisions accordingly. To each her own! Thanks for reading 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Well, check how much cholesterol is in milk/cheese. You’re actually not supposed to have any cholesterol (only the cholesterol you produce). Also, if you don’t believe Campbell, which he has official research, look at the many documentaries that have this information. Plus, I wouldn’t trust doctors because they only take one class on nutrition which is like 3 weeks. So it’s obvious they don’t know anything. There are a lot of logics on why not to drink milk too. Like no other species on this earth drinks the milk of another mother. And the purpose of cow milk is meant for the baby calf to gain a lot of weight to become a big cow. And if you won’t do it for health, you might want to know that a cow is raped in the process to get the milk. You should read up on that. That’s why I was a little baffled on why it was on the feminist tag. Because feminists are against rape. Anyways, I’m glad you at least looked into it. Because trust me, my life is so better without the heaviness of dairy.


      4. Lol! Implying that I’m “for rape” because I drink cow’s milk says more about you than it does me. If my love of dairy bothers you so much, you may want to avoid my blog in the future – because there’s going to be A LOT of cheese-related material.

        (By the way, just because someone is a doctor like Campbell, doesn’t automatically make their research “official,” as you say. Neither does living on a dairy farm.)


      5. I never said you were for rape, no one is. I didn’t even imply that you’re for rape. You’re turning it on me, which I don’t mind. I kind of guessed that your blog was about cheese because Queso means cheese. You can eat dairy all you want, but don’t defend it because you can’t go up against something that’s already proven. And you can think my sources aren’t valid, but there are hundreds more. I was only trying to help you…I tried my best. And you’re right, I will be avoiding your blog in the future.


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