Sandwich Personality Test

In the mental health milieu, there are about a bajillion different tests and scales that can measure everything from emotional symptoms, to substance abuse problems, to personality traits. Most of these tests involve paper and pencil (or the occasional ink blot), but I’ve recently started thinking – what if they involved sandwiches?

I’ll pause for a moment to let that sink in.

Imagine yourself walking into your kitchen, hungry for a sammich. You go to the fridge and push aside the expired yogurt in order to get to the lunchmeat. Or maybe you simply pull a jar of peanut butter out of the cabinet. You put your fillings of choice between two slices of fresh carbs, and then step back to briefly admire your handiwork.

What does that sandwich say about you? What does it reveal about your personality?

Maybe your answer is: “Nothing. It reveals nothing.”

But maybe you’re wrong.

Clearly, formal research needs to be done on this subject. I picture myself in a white lab coat, sitting behind a two-way mirror while my research subject is on the other side, perusing a table of sandwich ingredients.

I’d take careful notes while the subject assembles their sandwich. When they make a mustard smiley face on the bread, I’d nod thoughtfully and make a note on my legal pad. Just as I suspected – subject is whimsical and child-like.

Even if my research didn’t return any significant results (which is doubtful, because this idea is genius), at the end of the day, the subjects and I will be able to EAT the results. It’s really a win-win.

Although I haven’t yet performed this research, I’ve developed a few hypotheses about what personality traits might be revealed by one’s choice of sandwich ingredients. Scroll down the list to find your favorite sandwich (or the one you make most often), and see how well the personality description matches you.

Note: Please do not make any drastic relationship or career changes based on the results of this personality test. There’s a very tiny chance that I could be wrong.

sandwich1

BLT – You lead a very busy life – so busy, that you don’t have enough time to say this sandwich’s full name. You’re stable and secure, but you also know how to have a little fun. BACON fun.

Turkey with nothing but a little mayo or mustard – You dislike loud music and fast cars, and enjoy reading anthropology books in your spare time. People call you by the wrong name a  lot.

sandwich2

Tuna or egg-salad – The ultimate rebel: you know your food smells, but you don’t give a rat’s ass what other people think about it. You believe in living life loud and proud.

Ham & cheese – You’re trustworthy and an old soul; you have an appreciation for oldies music, and you’re considering taking up knitting.

Peanut butter & jelly – Your life is falling apart, and the only thing you have left are the comfort foods from your childhood. Keep calm and sandwich on.

sandwich3

Grilled cheese – You are a people-pleaser who chooses comfort and safety over taking risks. You’re probably best friends or in a relationship with a PB&J fan.

Bologna – You’re extremely laid-back and hate anything that seems pretentious  or uppity. Like dentists. You’re PROUD to eat on-sale mystery meat.

 

sandwich4-1

Fancy ingredients (lobster, pesto, sprouts, etc) – You have too much time and money on your hands, so you spend both on sandwich fillings. You probably don’t get along well with the bologna crowd.

Veggie only – You’re concerned about the environment and your health, though not as much as the people just eating salads. You also drive a hybrid, and you’re into yoga and meditating.

 

sandwich5-1

Multiple meats (turkey, ham, salami, etc) – You’re insecure in your masculinity, and need a sandwich to show just how much of  man you are. When you eat, you puff up your chest and say things like,  “I didn’t kill these animals myself, but I totally could have.”

 

So, tell me – which sandwich did you pick? How well (or not well) did the descriptions match up with your personality? Be warned, I may use your results in my formal research study, which I’m totally going to do maybe.

 

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32 thoughts on “Sandwich Personality Test

  1. I’m between egg salad and veggie. The egg salad was pretty spot on. I’m not really as much of a hippie as the veggie in described. For me it’s more a health thing. I’ll leave the yoga and meditation to the hardcore!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I mostly make hard salami sandwiches with toasted bread, lot of miracle whip and some brown deli muster (preferably Gulden’s), lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickles and cheese on the side. Occasionally, I switch out hard salami for recently bacon, generally turkey. More recently I skip the whole making anything and eat some Stacy’s Pretzel chips, rolled up salami, and stick cheese. It is just too late to worry about making something. My regular back up sammich is Tuna. 😀 Deep down I’m really a rebel, maybe. Sort of.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I can’t figure out if I chose grilled cheese because your page always makes me crave cheese? Or if that’s really what I would choose. Because by the end of the test I wanted all of the sammiches and now I think I have a personality disorder.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, it says BLT people are busy people, which I take as kinda OCD organized types. That isn’t me.

        I’m guessing the BLT avocado variation folks are different. Maybe they’re a mix of classic/traditional with an eccentric streak. That would reflect me at any rate, haha

        Liked by 1 person

      2. We’re taking a classic sandwich that’s been around forever and EXPLODING that stable triangle of B L and T.

        Cause that’s the kind of rabble rousing revolutionaries we are.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. momsranting

    I think I might be a cross personality… or multiple personality… I like PBJ, only with crunchy Dorito’s layered inside. NOT cool ranch flavor, only original flavor. I’ll take Tortilla chips if I have to. Grilled cheese = awesome. with avocado and tomato. and finally, I do like sprouts on my sandwiches, and I make basil mayonnaise just to be a snob. But still, I like bologna. Turkey bologna.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, I totally should have included the addition of chips in this! The Doritos on PB&J is a new for me – but I do like Pringles or Cheetos on a turkey sandwich. Yum.

      I totally get you on the multiple personality thing. In general, I’m a ham & cheese girl, but sometimes I want PB or something else. The description still sort of matches the mood for those days, though.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. perfectionhasapriceblog

    I chose the veggie sandwich – and you are absolutely right! i do care about animals and the environment (though i would say more than you think….i have been vegetarian since i was 4 ….so going on 16 years!) and yess…..i guess now i fit the stereotype because i am into yoga (very muvh) and meditation (kind of so)

    but i loved this post…it was very funny and entertaining, and apparently you were good at detecting people’s personalities based on their sandwich choices! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t know what the difference about veg and vegan at your place means, but from where I come from veg means everything except meat and eggs too. While vegan means nothi regarding animals …

        So, in my place yeah, I’m a vegetarian

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m not a huge sandwich eater, but I do like Grilled Cheese and the definition is actually very accurate! That being said, my actual favourite sandwich is the ice cream sandwich, so I need you to tell me my personality based on that.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Omg, how could I have have left off the king of all sandwiches? As a fellow ice cream sandwich lover, I’m truly sorry about my massive oversight.

      Off the top of my head, maybe the ice cream sandwich says: “you’re sweet, carefree, and fun-loving. You tend to procrastinate and put off boring duties until the last minute, in favor of doing something more fun.”

      What do you think? How’d I do?

      Like

  7. Omg this totally made my day. It’s so accurate it’s scary. I picked the grilled cheese and veggie sandwiches and they are both pretty much spot on except for the pb&j friend and risk aversion. But yep to people pleasing, yoga and the hybrid.

    Liked by 1 person

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