In the past few months of running this blog, I think I’ve done a pretty good job of poking fun at myself and the not-so-smart decisions I occasionally make. Think of my blog as an exercise in humility.
- I’ve semi-evaded a police chase
- I’ve found an unconventional way to repair a carpet stain
- I’ve taken off my underpants in a public area
- I’ve taken advice from The Jerry Springer show
- I’ve hung up on a 911 dispatcher, and then lied about it
Now that I’ve thoroughly described some massively poor choices, I feel the need to list some of my good decisions in order to balance things out.
That’s how life works, right?
You can make as many bad decisions as you want, as long as you make an equal number of good decisions. For example, it’s fine if you smuggle cocaine across the Canadian border – IF you follow it up by helping an old woman cross the street.
The bad decision is just… erased.
And if you help two old ladies cross the street? Well, then, you’re basically a saint.
However, you have to be careful about the number of smart choices you make. Too many will make you seem like an overachiever or a martyr – like someone who wants to make everyone else look bad. No one wants that, so keep on doing dumb stuff! And then redeem yourself again by doing good stuff. The cycle continues.
As an example, here are some decently intelligent things that I do. Think of it as an exercise in redemption:
- I pay my bills as soon as they come in.
- I’ve never once kidnapped an animal, no matter how cute it was, or how much I wanted to.
- I replace the toilet paper when it runs out at work.
- I always eat a sensible dinner before I plan to devour an entire chocolate cake.
- I always call 911 to report dangerous grass fires. I’ve technically only seen one, but that’s still a perfect record.
- Sometimes I eat vegetables.
That’s it. That’s all I can think of. I’m convinced that I do other smart stuff, but this is all I can come up with for now.
What weird decisions have you made in the past? What good choices have helped redeem you? Let us know in a comment, or if you’re a blogger and you’ve made a post about a good or bad decision before, feel free to leave a link to it! 🙂