Hell Cats and Hives

Even though Halloween and the season of scary stories ended a few weeks ago, I was recently reminded of a terrifying, monster-filled anecdote that happened in my own life. I’ve told a story over MS Paint illustrations before, and I thought it might be fun to bring it back again.

Behold, the scariest story of all:

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I know this story has a somewhat abrupt ending, but I didn’t want to leave you all feeling tense and terrorized for too long. The quick ending was for your sake. You’re welcome.

This story has a happy ending because after a shower and a few days of cortisone cream, I was good as new. Happy ending #2 – I later found a nice little desk job that didn’t involve being pelted with rocks by a couple of little hellions.

What’s the shortest amount of time you’ve ever worked at a particular job? What lead up to you quitting? Do you have any regrets for leaving so soon?

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45 thoughts on “Hell Cats and Hives

  1. I LOVED this tale, especially as it happened in Texas, the land of smacked children!!! I was a nanny 35 years ago to a rich family in Scotland – I don’t know if I was allowed to smack them but on occasion I did. Mostly, I used reverse psychology but am slightly ashamed that I played on their faith and reminded them what hell was like!!! In Egypt (2002), when the neighbor boy annoyed me by kicking his ball against my fence, I went out and shouted at him. He immediately apologized, followed by his father who told me he had been punished for annoying the neighbor. Ah, happy memories. It might be nicer to move back to Egypt than live under a dictatorial narcissist with a thin skin. 👿

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    1. Haha, I love you used reverse psychology on them! I understand a family not wanting to spank (and I didn’t feel comfortable spanking other people’s kids anyway), but to have NO consequences whatsoever just floored me. I made up my mind two hours in that I wouldn’t be back to that place, and the hives thing was the final nail in the coffin.

      Whew, you know things are bad here when someone’s considering an escape to Egypt! 😉

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      1. A quick smack was all that was needed but I am from a different generation. I also saw children beaten, which is abuse. I still give rows to stranger’s children if they are misbehaving…it is remarkably effective in a sharp Scottish voice.

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      2. Given my job experiences and own background, I definitely have some feelings about spanking. Ultimately, I believe that mom in my story is free to raise her kids however she likes, but I was not going to stick around and attempt to get though it haha. One of the best decisions I’ve made!

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      1. Nah, I’m sure you weren’t a slacker! Something just didn’t feel right about that job 🙂 the only thing that appealed to me about this one-day job was that house. I don’t know what it is about my fascination with big houses. But the hives weren’t worth it…

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      2. Haha I don’t mind it raw either. Athletes supposedly eat raw eggs and look how healthy they are – clearly, if we eat raw dough, we’ll be just like them, especially if we combine them with oats. And French toast has eggs too – we’re total health nuts. Even if I do plan to drench the toast in syrup 🙂

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      3. Confession: Whenever I make cookies, I eat so much batter that once the cookies are baked, I’m full. And I’ve never gotten sick from raw eggs. I also don’t usually know what the baked cookies taste like until hours later… or the next day. 🙂

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      4. You might as well be confessing to my own life haha. I’ve eaten considerable amounts of raw dough and cake batter, and I’ve never even gotten so much as a stomachache. Sometimes I can’t decide if I want it raw or cooked – so I’ll compromise by under baking them so that they’re really gooey. Yum.

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      5. Oh… cake batter, too. Just get me a spoon. Oh… brownie batter! My son asked me to make those for Thanksgiving… so I’ll be mixing this up tomorrow. That’s not going to go well… or it’s going to go very well, depending on your perspective…

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      6. I wonder how much batter I get to eat if I just make them in a 9×9 square pan instead of the 9×13… 😀 Maybe I’ll do some math… 36 square inches difference in pan size… … Hm… wonder how many spoonfuls that is? It’s about a 79%/30% split. I probably shouldn’t eat 30% of my batter. That seems bad. (Wow, I am a nerd!)

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      7. I love how technical and mathematical you’re being about this haha. There is no logic when it comes to brownie batter! Also, I laughed when I read that you were considering a smaller pan because I decided to go ahead and make my brownies tonight and I did the exact same thing 😂 I strongly considered pouring them in a smaller pan so that I could happily eat the rest of the batter. I didn’t do it though. Sad day.

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      8. I’m sure I won’t do it either… but it sounds really good. (On a whole different note… I was starting to feel better today but then someone kind of stomped on me… and I’m back to crappy! Am I jinxed? WTF? I swear… I’m cursed. You might wanna stand back!)

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      9. I just question all of it… because as soon as I start to feel better, something happens to tear me down. Am I just not meant to be happy? That sounds so crazy, but I can’t help wondering… (and if you want me to stop clogging up your post with this, please tell me! email me! anything!)

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  2. I love it when you do the drawings!!! Wondering how you that, actually, because I’d kinda like to give it a shot.

    Yeah, so, as I’m sure you’re already aware, there’s about 70 billion different theories on how to raise kids. I had plenty of my own, before actually having kids…

    And experience is very different from theory. Plus, kids are different from each other and what works on one kid won’t necessarily be successful on another.

    At any rate, I think kids definitely need guidance and discipline. I try not to be more strict/harsh than necessary, but kids will test your limits and keep pushing if they can. “No rules” is a recipe for disaster. Just like you found…

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    1. Thanks! I use good ol’ fashioned Microsoft Paint. I’m sure there are probably newer versions, but I use an ancient version that doesn’t let you do anything fancy. It’s part of the appeal, I think. Then I save each individual “page” as a JPEG and upload it like a normal picture. I love how they look too, but they’re definitely more work than a “normal” blog post.

      Strangely enough, I like the idea of being able to give your kids as much freedom as possible to explore and learn, even when that means making messes. But when you’re hurting people or property, that’s certainly a time to bring in discipline. Do I like harsh punishments? No. Do I think you deserve to have your ball taken away if you keep throwing it at my head? Absolutely. That mom is free to raise her kids how she wants, but I was not going to stick around and deal with the consequences haha.

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      1. Thanks, I’m going to play with that too. I definitely think the “simpleness” of the art is part of the appeal. Makes it seem like a daydream.

        It can be tough to find the balance between letting kids be creative and making them follow rules. Your stance seems very reasonable to me.

        I err on the side of freedom and creatively too, though even that has its limits. For example, Brontë went through a lengthy phase of painting things with her poo. She’d just reach back into her diaper then massage her poop ALL OVER the walls, over mirrors, and in every house crack she could find.

        Beyond that, kids have strong urges to dump every drawer and container they can find, then just walk off (if they aren’t grinding the contents into the floor). You literally end up spending hours cleaning it up, every day…

        So it can be a tough call sometimes, but that’s part of the deal. I think some parents are so afraid of making a mistake, they end up not having any rules at all.

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      2. I read that bit about Bronte and immediately went, “NOPE!” Haha. I have no idea how I’d deal with that. Sometimes it’s pretty clear/easy to come up with a consequence that matches the crime, but not in that case!

        You should definitely play with paint and see what you think. I look forward to seeing your creations 🙂

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  3. Amanda!! Hi! Do you remember me? No? you don’t? that’s—that’s okay. no really. it’s fine. I’ve been gone since June or so. No no. Don’t try to console me, I’m fine.

    It’s just that one time? I worked at a library? And my boss’s boss asked me to pet sit for a week? So I did. She had a dog that shed and a cat that shed. I’m pretty okay with dogs, but if I cuddle the ones that shed my eyes itch. My body just literally can’t even with cats. I thought I could find a way to survive, but of course the morning that I had to work with The Public, my face exploded. My face was so swollen that one eye was closed shut. I pulled my hair over to cover that side so maybe The Public wouldn’t be afraid to ask questions. :-/

    Word got around and my boss’s boss never asked me to pet sit again because she felt bad.

    Memories.

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      1. I sort of was, too. Because cats have the super power to make my face explode from afar, I don’t trust them or really like them. It’s not that I have hate in my heart for them — I like animals — I just don’t favor cats, y’know? I feel like they’re always plotting something evil.

        But I really liked her dog and wished I could have some good ol’ one on one time. So I kind of felt bad that the dog and I couldn’t be friends.

        However, in your story, the cat’s evil worked in your favor. So I guess in that instance, I can applaud the cat. Hm. Maybe they’re not always bad.

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