Quote Challenge – Day One

I was nominated by Mark over at Coloring Outside the Lines to participate in a three-day quote challenge. Thanks, Mark! 🙂

Here are the rules for this challenge:

  • Post one of your favorite quotes(different quote on each day) on three consecutive days. The quote can be from your favorite book, author, or your own.
  • Nominate three bloggers to challenge them.
  • Thank the blogger who nominated you

For the first day of this challenge, I selected a quote by Fred Rogers. Don’t recognize the name? Maybe you’ll recognize his graffiti visage:

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You know you’re a big deal when someone spray paints your face on the side of a wall.

Anyway, Mr. Rogers contributed a lot to the world through his educational children’s TV show Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, as well as through his snappy dressing. But my favorite quote of his is this:

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

As I’ve described in another post, I try to stay positive – not just about my own life, but about the world at large. Some days, I have to try really, really hard. And when a true disaster occurs, I can feel myself taking on a hopeless, pessimistic worldview. But I try to remind myself of this quote, because Fred’s mom (Mrs. Rogers?) was right – amidst chaos and sadness, there are ALWAYS people who are trying to lend a hand in some way.

Some offer a comforting touch, or listening ear, and some offer a different kind of assistance, such as through donating money. And some of us help by rating the quesos at various restaurants so others don’t have to.

Three people I’ve nominated to participate in this challenge:

  1. Midnight Musings with Megs
  2. Hotmess Memoir
  3. A Kinder Way

April Foolishness

Some of the photos and screenshots I took on my phone during the month of April do a pretty good job of reflecting how the month went for me in general:

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Got creative for dinner one Friday night. It was a tough week, okay?

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Worked on my crochet temperature blanket – the color of each row depends on what the temperature was in my area that day.  I add one row every single day for one year, so it’s going to be gargantuan when it’s done.  Have a herd of cows that you need to keep warm next winter? I’ll send you this blanket.

(The wine is to help me forget my recurrent nightmares that the blanket is slowly smothering me to death.)

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Celebrated Ice Cream Grandma’s 90th birthday. True story: mere moments before we left for the (surprise) party, my rapscallion grandmother groaned and said, “I hope no one tries to throw me a party. I hate parties.” Gulp.

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Reminded myself that grad school was totally worth all that time and money and stress and studying and money and test-taking and money. I’m sure it won’t take me a kajillion years to pay off my student loans. Everything’s fine! (Excuse me while I cry into my cereal.)

Tried three new quesos! All the ever lovin’ cheese a girl could want.One was from Billy’s on Burnet, and the other two reviews are still to come.

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Casually strolled around my neighborhood and pretended like it was enough exercise to burn off all the cheese I had eaten earlier in the day.

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Remembered yet again that I have bad luck ordering clothes from online. Example A: the bikini top that looks cute at first,  until you realize that the cups are a mile apart. Seriously, what kind of mutant boobs are THIS far apart?

If anyone has ideas for fixing it, I’m all ears. Because otherwise, I’m getting out my machete and about 60 safety pins. You haven’t won yet, Amazon!

And last but not least, I laughed at a conversation that took place between my fellow cheese-judger Amanda, her sister Katrina, and me:

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It’s unclear which “Amanda” Katrina was referring to here, but it’s true either way. The love we have for gooey cheese is far more romantic, stable, and enduring than many other love stories.

All in all, my April brought some stressful days, but also lots of days of celebration and cheese. What was your April like? I’d love to see what kind of pictures you took throughout the month.

P.S. – Anyone want to make bets as to how long the blanket will measure once it’s completed in a few months? The winner can have…the satisfaction that comes with being a really good guesser.

Therapist Me vs. Real Me

For those of you who don’t know, I have a day job as a mental health professional. One of the interesting things about this career path is that it sometimes feels like there’s a difference between the version of you that acts as a therapist, and the version of you that is just…you.

In other words, while “Therapist Me” is an educated professional who spends a great deal of time encouraging self-care and guiding clients toward healthy coping skills, “Real Me” is a human being who is just as prone to flawed coping mechanisms as everyone else.

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Sometimes, Therapist Me gets into heated arguments with Real Me. Therapist Me is compassionate and understanding with clients, but she’s a bit judgey with Real Me.

On bedtime…

Therapist Me: “You need to go to bed at a decent hour. Sleeping is important for your mental and physical health.”

Real Me: “But I wanna watch another episode of Golden Girls!”

On healthy habits…

Therapist Me: “Go to your yoga class tonight. Sometimes you think you don’t want to, but you always feel better afterward.”

Real Me: “OR………I could just eat Chinese food in my yoga pants. It’s almost the same thing.”

Therapist Me: “No. Yoga will help relax you.”

Real Me: “So will Chinese food.”

Therapist Me: “Will the Chinese food make you feel more limber?”

Real Me: “MAYBE! YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE.”

On feeling frazzled…

Therapist Me: “You seem stressed. Why don’t you use your Calm app?”

Real Me: “Nah. Chocolate.”

Therapist Me: “Amanda…”

Real Me: “What’s that, chocolate? You’re lonely in that dark drawer all by yourself? I have just the solution….”

On navigating work relationships…

Therapist Me: “You encourage clients to advocate for themselves all the time. Go to your supervisor and ask for what you need.”

Real Me: *Makes unintelligible noise of discomfort*

Therapist Me: “Stop it. You are confident and assertive and you can do this!”

Real Me: *Makes panicked face. Slithers out of the chair and onto the ground.*

As much as I’d like to say that Therapist Me usually wins out, the truth is that Therapist Me and Real Me are probably about tied. But sometimes they compromise with each other: I’ll go to my yoga class, and then pick up Chinese food on the way home.

(Or maybe that’s not compromising so much as just canceling each other out.)

Does anyone else feel like the more grownup, rational part of your brain gets into quarrels with the whiny, poor-decision-making part? Which part usually wins out? What are your favorite healthy (or unhealthy) ways to cope with stress?

ALSO – on a side note, you should definitely check out the Calm app. It has lots of soothing scenes and sounds, like waves crashing on the beach, or a crackling fire place. It also has guided meditations – even ones as short as two minutes if you don’t have much time. This thing really does help me get grounded and calm when I’m stressed or anxious. AND IT’S FREE! (except for the fancier stuff, but who needs that).

Sandwich Personality Test

In the mental health milieu, there are about a bajillion different tests and scales that can measure everything from emotional symptoms, to substance abuse problems, to personality traits. Most of these tests involve paper and pencil (or the occasional ink blot), but I’ve recently started thinking – what if they involved sandwiches?

I’ll pause for a moment to let that sink in.

Imagine yourself walking into your kitchen, hungry for a sammich. You go to the fridge and push aside the expired yogurt in order to get to the lunchmeat. Or maybe you simply pull a jar of peanut butter out of the cabinet. You put your fillings of choice between two slices of fresh carbs, and then step back to briefly admire your handiwork.

What does that sandwich say about you? What does it reveal about your personality?

Maybe your answer is: “Nothing. It reveals nothing.”

But maybe you’re wrong.

Clearly, formal research needs to be done on this subject. I picture myself in a white lab coat, sitting behind a two-way mirror while my research subject is on the other side, perusing a table of sandwich ingredients.

I’d take careful notes while the subject assembles their sandwich. When they make a mustard smiley face on the bread, I’d nod thoughtfully and make a note on my legal pad. Just as I suspected – subject is whimsical and child-like.

Even if my research didn’t return any significant results (which is doubtful, because this idea is genius), at the end of the day, the subjects and I will be able to EAT the results. It’s really a win-win.

Although I haven’t yet performed this research, I’ve developed a few hypotheses about what personality traits might be revealed by one’s choice of sandwich ingredients. Scroll down the list to find your favorite sandwich (or the one you make most often), and see how well the personality description matches you.

Note: Please do not make any drastic relationship or career changes based on the results of this personality test. There’s a very tiny chance that I could be wrong.

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BLT – You lead a very busy life – so busy, that you don’t have enough time to say this sandwich’s full name. You’re stable and secure, but you also know how to have a little fun. BACON fun.

Turkey with nothing but a little mayo or mustard – You dislike loud music and fast cars, and enjoy reading anthropology books in your spare time. People call you by the wrong name a  lot.

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Tuna or egg-salad – The ultimate rebel: you know your food smells, but you don’t give a rat’s ass what other people think about it. You believe in living life loud and proud.

Ham & cheese – You’re trustworthy and an old soul; you have an appreciation for oldies music, and you’re considering taking up knitting.

Peanut butter & jelly – Your life is falling apart, and the only thing you have left are the comfort foods from your childhood. Keep calm and sandwich on.

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Grilled cheese – You are a people-pleaser who chooses comfort and safety over taking risks. You’re probably best friends or in a relationship with a PB&J fan.

Bologna – You’re extremely laid-back and hate anything that seems pretentious  or uppity. Like dentists. You’re PROUD to eat on-sale mystery meat.

 

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Fancy ingredients (lobster, pesto, sprouts, etc) – You have too much time and money on your hands, so you spend both on sandwich fillings. You probably don’t get along well with the bologna crowd.

Veggie only – You’re concerned about the environment and your health, though not as much as the people just eating salads. You also drive a hybrid, and you’re into yoga and meditating.

 

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Multiple meats (turkey, ham, salami, etc) – You’re insecure in your masculinity, and need a sandwich to show just how much of  man you are. When you eat, you puff up your chest and say things like,  “I didn’t kill these animals myself, but I totally could have.”

 

So, tell me – which sandwich did you pick? How well (or not well) did the descriptions match up with your personality? Be warned, I may use your results in my formal research study, which I’m totally going to do maybe.

 

She’s My Grandma, and You Can’t Have Her

In honor of my grandmother turning 90 next week, I decided to do an entire post just about her. There are a lot of reasons why my grandma is treasured by her family and friends, but I narrowed the evidence to a few simple points.

Before you get any ideas about kidnapping her and keeping her as your own, just know that she’s mine. I found her first, and claimed her in the name of France.

Ahem. Anyway…

 Here are 6 things to admire about my grandma:

 1. Her Personality

Like many women her age, my Grandma is a refined, respectable lady. She wears hair scarves on windy days, and pantyhose under her pants. Rarely have I ever heard her curse or say an unkind word.

But my Grandma ain’t no push over, either. She damn well does what she pleases, and doesn’t really care what others say about it. She’s a ninety-pound firecracker – and all of us are just a teensy bit afraid of her wrath.

2. Her Surprisingly Progressive Views

My grandmother was born in 1926. Considering the vastly different times she grew up in, it’s understandable that she holds a few old-school views.

But she’s always encouraged my educational and career goals, and has pulled me aside more than once to suggest that *if I keep my career when I get married*, I should make sure my spouse helps out with cooking and cleaning, because it wouldn’t be fair for me to do it all.

Not too shabby, Grandma.

(* to *) denotes the presence of old-schoolishness

3. Her Pride for Her Family

Grandma tells just about everyone she meets that she has a psychologist granddaughter. It’s very sweet.

Unfortunately, it’s also inaccurate. And no matter how many times I’ve explained that a master’s degree ≠ psychologist, she chooses to believe what she wants.

4. Her Loyalty to TV Personalities  

About two years ago, I had shingles. I happened to visit my grandparents’ house while I still had it, because I was in town for a couple days and hadn’t seen them in awhile. Grandma wasn’t thrilled about my visit, because she was concerned about catching the virus from me.

…That’d be an understandable fear, if it were scientifically possible. In truth, no one “catches” shingles from another person – if you’ve had chicken pox (which she’d had), the virus is already in your body.

According to Grandma, however, Barbara Walters had said on The View that she caught it from hugging someone, and apparently, an octogenarian journalist is more believable than actual doctors.

(Grandma still let me and my shingles visit, but she wouldn’t let me touch anything, and when she suggested that I take a seat on the couch, I noticed that there was a towel spread down for me.

Yes, a towel. As though I were a mangy dog.)

 5. Her Sense of Humor

Not too long ago, my motorcycle-riding father decided that it was his life’s dream to see my tiny grandmother sit on his bike. Willing to humor my father, who’s not even her child, Grandma perched on the motorcycle while the rest of the family died laughing. And took pictures.

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Actual photo of the motorcycle incident. Protected Grandma’s identity so no one can Grandma-nap her.

 

And the thing I (and my family) most admire about Grandma:

6. Her Black Hole of a Stomach

My itty bitty grandmother can put away a LOT of food. She regularly out-eats the larger men in my family, and could probably give your average sumo wrestler a run for his money. I’ve watched her neatly devour a plate of barbecue ribs and cornbread, and then ask for seconds. And thirds.

It’s like something out of a sci fi movie – no one’s quite sure where all the food goes once she swallows it.

But her real love, the key to her heart, is ice cream – which is how my friend and I came to nickname her “Ice Cream Grandma.” Simple, yet accurate.

 

To sum her up in a sentence, my grandmother is a polite, progressively traditional lady who could kick your ass in a hot-dog eating contest. (And then probably admonish me for the using the word “ass.”)

Anyone else have a firecracker, food-loving grandma? I’d love to hear more Grandma stories!

How to Be a Mildly Attractive Human

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Do you ever feel that your physical appearance is way too gorgeous? Are you always looking for ways to ugly yourself up a bit? Well, look no further! I’ve got just the solution to help you take your looks from devastatingly beautiful to simple and run of the mill.

I don’t like to brag, but I’m a natural talent at looking normal and average. You know those days where all aspects of your appearance cooperate with each other and look on-point at the same time? I sure don’t! As one area of my appearance improves, another falls apart. Something about my appearance is always amiss.

How can you be more like me, you ask? Take a look at how I effectively balance my style and beauty so that I never look too attractive or put together…

  •  Just bought a brand new shirt! It looks great with my favorite jeans!
    –> Grows a fresh crop of pimples on face.
  • After tons of work, skin finally looks clear!
    –> Gets haircut that makes me look like an early-2000s pop star
  • Figured out a way to style my outdated hair!
    –> Attacked by a swarm of mosquitoes and have freakish allergic reaction that makes the bites swell up to the size of baseballs and take weeks to heal.

(I’m still not quite over that last one.)

If horrendous allergic reactions are a bit too extreme for you (pansy), there are other ways to de-beautify yourself. For example, if you have naturally clear skin, a red marker can go a long way in creating acne spots. If your hair is gorgeously frizz-free, I suggest washing it with gasoline instead of shampoo, and using dirty gardening tools to style it.

Giving up hygiene products for several days is always an idea too.

If one day you find that your hair, skin, and makeup are all looking good, and you’re even dressed in a nice outfit (the horrors!), you can always sabotage your look by accidentally breaking a pen and spilling ink all over yourself like some sort of unstoppable moron.

That never happened to me.

(Okay, that’s a lie. It did happen. I had to leave work in the middle of the day to change my clothes. I’m a style badass.)

It’s important to not go overboard in the anti-attractiveness department, however. The goal is to look as average as you possibly can – NOT to look like this guy:

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To help us all find the line between slight attractiveness and slight Shrek-ness, I created this handy table:

 

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If you’re greatly disturbed by people constantly asking you for beauty and skin tips, simply follow my advice, and they’ll pester you no longer!

What are your tips for decreasing the attractiveness of your makeup, hair, and skin? Is this something you struggle with, or do you find that you have natural talent for it, like I do?

Pros and Cons of Living Alone

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Back when I was living with my parents and brother, I so looked forward to the day that I could live by myself in my own (or rented) home, sans roommates. I fantasized about having total peace and privacy and being able to do chores according to my own timetable.

Now that I’ve experienced several years of living alone, I have to say – it is pretty awesome in a lot of ways. Admittedly, however, living alone is not all sunshine and rainbow-colored unicorn poop…

Pros and Cons of Living Alone

Pro: Eating a mountain of junk food, with no one around to judge me

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Con: Gaining five pounds, because there’s no one around to judge me

Pro: Not having to pick up anyone else’s messes
Con: It’s always my turn to vacuum
• “How can all this filth be MINE?” – me, on a regular basis

Pro: Putting on socks and doing some kitchen ballet!
Con: No one to peel me off the floor when I inevitably fall

Pro: No one to talk to after a bad day at work

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Con: No one to talk to after a bad day at work
• Note to self: get a pet

Pro: Not having to cook for anyone
Con:  

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Pro: Repairing minor fix-it issues by myself, and feeling a sense of accomplishment
Con: Having to kill cockroaches myself. I cannot do this. No.

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Pro: Can sit in my shower or bath as long as I want
Con: Should I drown, it’d be a long time before anyone found me
• Note to self: get a pet get a Lassie

Pro: Free to roam my apartment in varying degrees of nakedness
Con:

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Pro: Feeling proud and independent about paying bills, cleaning, carrying groceries up a flight of stairs, calling the repair man, and everything else that I do without any help
Con: Feeling paranoid that maybe I’m too good at living alone, and that if I ever have a roommate, I may one day take drastic measures just to get some privacy.

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Those of you who have lived alone, are there any pros or cons you’d add to this list? What about those of you who have NEVER lived alone?

 

Carpet Surgeon, Part 2

Please read Part 1 of this story first, where I describe how I accidentally stained my carpet with bleach, and then employed a really unconventional method for trying to fix it. Spoiler alert: It didn’t work.

But I did come up with another strategy…

I found a pair of fabric shears and a small bowl, and ungracefully plopped down on the floor in front of the offending spot. Before I could change my mind, I used the scissors to gouge a hole in the carpet, and began hacking away.

My “brilliant” plan was to cut out the entire piece of stained carpet, and switch it with normal-looking carpet from another area in my apartment. The bowl would guide me in cutting out the carpet, so that both the damaged and undamaged pieces would be roughly the same size and shape.

You know, much like surgeons plan out organ transplants.

 

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This may surprise you, but fabric shears were actually not made for cutting through thick carpet. Crazy, I know. Using a bowl as a unit of measurement is also not advisable. I developed a newfound sympathy for carpet layers, even though I was guessing they worked with slightly more sophisticated equipment.

Before too long, my hand started to ache from cutting through the carpet. My back grew tired from awkwardly hunching over. But this idea felt smart, like it was really going to work.

Soon, I had a disastrously-cut circle of carpet in my lap. I then gazed around my apartment, attempting to find an unobtrusive location where the transplant would come from. I thought about using a portion from under my couch or bed, but quickly nixed that thought.

And then, my gaze drifted to my bedroom closet. It was the type with sliding glass doors on a track – the kind where you’re never able to see the clothes at the very back, because the light doesn’t reach that far.

Fortunately for me, this meant that the carpet at the very back was also much less noticeable.

I spent half an hour folded up like an accordion in the back of my closet, clothes hanging overhead, cutting out another circle of carpet. I briefly wondered how many people had found themselves in my exact situation, and decided the number was probably pretty low.

When I finally had a circle of soft, blemish-free carpet, I placed it gingerly in the hole where the stained circle had once been. The new circle fit well enough to sit level with the rest of the carpet, but there was an obvious ring around it, similar to the “dents” that heavy furniture leave behind.

I sighed, but I didn’t take the time to fret about it. I found a sewing needle and beige thread, and got to work sewing carpet fibers together so that the new circle would blend more smoothly into its surroundings.

You know your life has taken a strange turn when you find yourself lying on your stomach, sewing pieces of carpet. They should make Girl Scouts do that shit for patches.

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After the sewing was complete, and over the next few days, I stacked heavy books on top of the new carpet in an effort to further squish it down and soften out the obvious indentation. I even marched in place on it – again, much like surgeons probably do during transplants. Anytime I had to vacuum, I did so very carefully, so as to not destroy the delicate carpet stitches.

After all that work, you could still see the ring when you got up close, but from a few steps away, it was surprisingly pretty blended. If you don’t believe me, you should know that in my three years of living in that apartment, not one family member or friend ever gave the transplanted carpet so much as a second glance.

And when I eventually moved out? Management didn’t charge a penny for my ridiculous, over-the-top mistake(s). Because they never noticed it.

I think that’s enough to be considered a genius.

Which “Friend” Worked the Most? The Answer May Surprise You

It’s a long-running joke about the television show Friends that the six main characters spend more time drinking coffee at Central Perk than they do actually learning a living.

Personally, I think the lack of work is pretty understandable – the show is supposed to be about a group of close buddies and their struggles and triumphs together, and seeing them at their individual jobs doesn’t allow for those fun interactions to take place.

After all, if they worked all the time, when would they get to play football or poker together? Or crowd in on Chandler’s bathtime? When would they tease each other about having a third nipple, or breaking the porch swing? These are the things we want to see.

Although it makes sense to me that the Friends aren’t often shown working, I was still curious about which one works the most. In order to find the answer, I watched all 236 episodes of the show – episodes I have seen dozens and dozens of times before – and combed over each and every scene for any signs of the characters working.

I took meticulous notes. There was a spreadsheet involved.

It was totally worth the effort.

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So what counts as “work”? Obviously, I included any scene where the characters are shown doing their jobs at their actual work places – whether it’s Monica cooking something delicious at a restaurant, or Ross lecturing to a classroom of students. However, for the purposes of my super scientific study, I counted other types of situations as “work” as well:

  •  Odd jobs that are separate from more consistent employment – such as writing restaurant reviews, temping, spraying cologne on unsuspecting store customers, etc.
  • Discussing  the work day – applies when Friends exit the room, saying they’re “headed to work,” or return home and share a work story with the others
  • Work-seeking behaviors – job interviews, auditions, internships, etc
  • Appearances of work – wearing uniforms (such as Monica’s outfit at the 50s-style diner), or dressed professionally, PLUS carrying work-specific props (such as a briefcase or massage table)
  • Miscellaneous work-related events – includes charity functions, conferences, dinners at boss’ homes, formal work parties, etc – the Friends may not have been paid to be at these events, but were probably still expected to be there
  • Performances – seeing a Friend act on television, or perform in public places (where tip money could be made) totally counts. This one’s specific to Joey and Phoebe.

On the other hand, these more ambiguous references to employment did NOT count toward the tally:

  • Talking about work in general terms – “I don’t like my job” or “I have to work that weekend.”
  • Dressed professionally, but not discussing work in any way, nor carrying any props that might suggest they’re headed to (or coming from) work. We see that you’re wearing a nice outfit, but how do we know you were at work, and not some other dressy event?
  • Non-public performances – singing in other Friends’ apartments does not count

Now that we’ve gotten the boring criteria out of the way, it’s time to reveal our winner and hardest worker. Are you ready for this? Drumroll, please…

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Winner: Rachel
It probably comes as a shock that the character known for being a spoiled rich girl (at least in the beginning) is actually seen doing the most work throughout the ten seasons of Friends. There’s something so fitting about this, actually: the woman left a financially-secure lifestyle behind in order to make a stab at independence, and we get to see her gradually progress from waitress, to low-level employee in a fashion company, to merchandising manager at Ralph Lauren. You go, girl.

Admittedly, Rachel probably never won any Employee of the Month awards, as we often see her sitting on the big orange couch when she’s supposed to be waitressing. And then there’s that whole affair-with-her-subordinate thing. And the falsely-accusing-her-boss-of-trying-to-buy-her-baby thing.

Ironically enough though, Rachel is the only character who never really dealt with unemployment on the show – unless you count the day-long gap between getting fired from Ralph Lauren and hired at Louis Vuitton.
Total days worked in 10 seasons: 137

Runner up: Joey
When trying to convince Chandler to hire him for a role in a commercial, Joey refers to himself as a “chameleon” – and he is, at least in terms of employment. Despite not working quite as much as Rachel, Joey held by far the most jobs: actor, model, sperm donor extraordinaire. The list goes on. Even his acting jobs ranged in prestige from playing Al Pacino’s butt to playing Dr. Drake Ramoray on Days of Our Lives.

Admirably, Joey carried out ALL of these roles with pride. (And with dishonesty, as he lied quite a bit on his resume.)
Total days worked in 10 seasons: 115

Ross
Despite having the most advanced degree of the group, and once enthusiastically proclaiming that he “can’t get enough dinosaurs,” Ross really isn’t seen working all that much. He technically comes in third place in this list, but his number is far behind that of Rachel and Joey’s. Perhaps all of those weddings and divorces got in the way of getting much work done.
Total days worked in 10 seasons: 73

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Chandler
It was a surprise to see Miss Chanandler Bong work so little, considering it’s heavily implied throughout the show that he makes good money as a “transpondster,” and takes his WENUS very seriously. Shockingly enough though, he was the only Friend to go an entire season (the 6th, to be specific) without being seen working at all.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that he truly didn’t work, but we don’t see it taking place, and that’s what counts here. There are plenty of times that Chandler is shown wearing a suit, but with no work story or briefcase to provide supporting evidence, it couldn’t really be included.
Total days worked in 10 seasons: 63

Phoebe
Ah, Pheebs. It’s really no shocker that the free spirit is next-to-last in this study. She held consistent jobs as a massage therapist and Central Perk performer, but a lot of the work we see are side jobs, like catering with Monica or temping as a secretary for Chandler. Of course, it can’t be forgotten that she also held a one-day stint as a life-saving telemarketer.
Total days worked in 10 seasons: 56

Monica
It’s a bit cringe-worthy when the most competitive person in the group comes in dead last. However, although we don’t see Monica working as much, I’d hesitate to call the woman lazy – she cooks and cleans for everyone, gives the best bad massages, and is always the hostess. In a way, Monica was the stay-at-home mom to the other five. Especially when she made lunchmeat foreskins for Joey.
Total days worked in 10 seasons: 50

 

So, fellow Friends fans, what are your thoughts on this list? Could you BE any more surprised by the winner? Which character’s work record surprised you the least?

Letter to Future Me

I was nominated by Erin at http://bubblesandbeebots.com/ to write a letter to my future self – the February 2017 version of me, if you will. If you’re unfamiliar with Erin’s blog, I highly recommend visiting it, because she’s a great writer and has lots of stories about her adorable, food-loving little children.

My first reaction to this tag was excitement, which moved into slight panic as I couldn’t think of anything to say. Now I’m just feeling happy that I completed it 🙂

Here are the rules:

  1. Tag the letter under “dearfuturemetag”
  2. Write a letter to yourself to read again in a year’s time. You can answer then if you’d like.
  3. Nominate other bloggers. (My nominees are at the end of this post)

Dear Future Me,

First off, congratulations on still being alive! I guess all the quesos you’ve eaten haven’t yet given you a heart attack, so that’s good to know. How many quesos have you tested up until this point, anyway? I wonder if Sazón is still your favorite, or if some other place has taken that top spot.

Second, congratulations on finally being a fully-licensed professional counselor! You’re in the big leagues now, lady! Or, at least, I hope you are: three years of graduate school and two years under supervision were no easy picnic for your mind – or for your wallet. At least you’re no longer eating peanut butter crackers for every meal, simply because they were easy to eat in between clients, or while driving from one place to the next.

Speaking of food, I’m holding out hope that you’ve magically sprouted into a fully-functioning grown-up human woman by now. You do pretty good on a lot of adult tasks: you work full-time and you pay those bills like a frickin’ boss. You even do laundry on a semi-regular basis. Keep up the good work on those fronts!

The problem is, you often come home and have cereal for dinner. Or cubes of ham, straight out of the plastic packaging. Not because you’re out of food, or incapable of cooking something else, but because you just don’t want to.

Let’s try to do a little better at that, shall we?

While we’re wishing for things, I also really hope you’re still doing this blog. Sometimes, you fear that you’ll eventually run out of ideas (or that some sort of technological apocalypse will erase all the blogs from the internet), but you enjoy it so much. You’ve always loved writing, and the blog seems to encompass all the things you loved about being a yearbook editor – playing with fonts and designs, finding relevant pictures, etc. Plus, it’s fun to read all the other funny, amazing, and inspirational blogs out there.

Future me, you should continue to do things that make you feel happy and alive.

Another hope I cling to is that you’ll have finally figured out how to style your own hair. Right now, you only have about five options for hairstyles:

  1. Down and straightened
  2. Down and wavy
  3. Up
  4. Hmm…
  5. ????

…Oh, look at that – guess you only have three styles.

Let’s see, what else might be important to ask you?

Oh I know – do you still have your terrible laptop? The young and modern side of me is crossing my fingers that you’ve embraced new technology, but the nostalgic, easily-impressed side of me will be fascinated if you’re still using a computer that is now 11-years-old.

Enough about me! Let’s talk about you, future me.

If you’ve already forgotten, the February 2016 version of you is in a place where everything feels a bit uncertain. You might be working at a different job now, and maybe even living in a different city. That concept scares 2016 you. You like fresh starts as much as the next guy, but you hate the feeling of “flying by the seat of your pants,” and always have. You want to know where you’re going, and what’s happening, and who’ll be there. You crave the security.

I don’t know what you’re up to now, but wherever you are, and whatever you’re doing, I’m sure you’re okay.

Maybe you’ve even mastered something incredible. Maybe now you know how to make a perfect soufflé, or you’ve completed a decathlon, or become mayor.

I know, more than likely, none of those things is true. A year from now seems so far away, and yet it doesn’t seem like a long enough amount of time for me to have enacted any major changes. But the point is, you should remember that the world is your oyster! You can have whatever you want if you work hard enough!

…Except for the decathlon thing. You love cheese and television too much for that to work out.

Sincerely,
Current, 2016, Work-in-Progress, Me

My nominees for this fun tag:
https://myleastfavoritechildtoday.wordpress.com/
http://momsranting.com/
http://wwww.rockandrollsupermom.wordpress.com/

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