Just a few days ago, my blog friend Erin made a very clever post that tied the seven deadly sins to American holidays. If you haven’t read it yet, click here to do so, because it’s a fun read. And then come back! I’ll be waiting with snacks.
After Erin made her post, she suggested that I take the same topic and apply it to the Friends characters. I love the show, but what I love even more is when other people humor me for my love of the show! Brilliant of her, right?! I may only know Erin online, but she would totally be my friend in real life if we lived near each other. I mean, unless she didn’t want to be my friend, because it IS a little sketchy meeting people you only know from the internet. It’s smart of her to be cautious. For all she knows, I could be a 104-year-old bearded man.
In fact, it’s more fun that way. Assume from now on that I actually AM a 104-year-old bearded man. One who depicts himself as a young blonde woman. And who is in a committed relationship with cheese.
I decided to jump on Erin’s awesome idea before she could change her mind and use it herself. I set aside important work tasks, like any true Friends fan would do, and began brainstorming which sins would apply to which characters. It goes without saying that all of the characters have their strengths and high points (yes, even Ross), but of course, they have their vices as well. They make mistakes just like the rest of us, and some indulge more often in certain areas than in others.
Although there are seven sins, there are only six main characters, so I chose to add in a not-primary-but-still-often-seen character.
SIN #1: WRATH
Character it most closely fits: Ross
- He reacts with fury when he finds out that Monica and Chandler are sleeping together
- He loses his temper at a guy who cuts in front of him (earning him the nickname “Red Ross”)
- He becomes enraged about the unauthorized consumption of his beloved turkey sandwich.
SIN #2: SLOTH
Character it most closely fits: Chandler
- He admits to never exercising, and is often teased for being physically weaker than everyone else
- He spends entire days sitting in his recliner, eating snacks, and watching Baywatch
SIN #3: GREED
Character it most closely fits: Rachel
Yes, I know she left her orthodontist fiancé and rich dad in an attempt to make it on her own. Yes, I know she worked hard to become successful in her own right. Clearly, the woman’s got some pluck and courage. But you can’t deny that she also had some moments of greed.
- Of all the Friends, she cares the most about expensive and trendy brands
- She demands presents, and then winds up exchanging them for stuff she’d rather have
- She encourages Monica to marry Pete for the sole purpose of having an extravagant wedding (complete with a “money salad”) – despite the fact that Monica barely knows the man and isn’t sure she wants to marry him
SIN #4: LUST
Character it most closely fits: Joey
- Do I really need to provide my reasoning? Have you not watched the show?
SIN #5: PRIDE
Character it most closely fits: Phoebe
- She refuses to sell “Smelly Cat” to the kitty litter commercial…and then that jingle bitch screwed her over.
- These song lyrics, which she sings with great passion: “When I play, I play for me! I don’t need no charity!”
- She doesn’t mention to anyone that she can’t ride a bike, despite receiving one as a present
SIN #6: GLUTTONY
Character it most closely fits: Monica
- I know her issues with overeating are technically in the past, but nothing else really fits Monica, okay? Plus, there is that episode where she becomes addicted to Brown Bird cookies and her friends have to cut her off.
SIN #7: ENVY
Character it most closely fits: Gunther
- He was super jealous of Ross’ relationship with Rachel. That’s about it.
Of course, a few of these characters can fit in more than one category of sin. Joey in particular can be assigned to almost all of the sins! What do you think of my selections? Are there any ones that you would have done differently? What other examples can you think of to justify certain match-ups?