Symptoms of Move-itis

Y’all, March has been somewhat of a booger-bear for me, through no fault of my own.

Okay, that’s a lie – the insanity of this month is entirely my fault.

You see, I thought it’d be interesting to schedule both surgery AND a move to a new city within the same month! And I was correct. It is interesting. Interesting in the way that makes you want to commit yourself to a mental hospital just to get some rest. Forget the idea of this month being named after a Roman god – I’m pretty sure the name March means “Life’s gonna march across your face, sucker!”

Let’s take a look at the month:

March 17: Had my wisdom teeth forcibly ripped from my gums. Interestingly, I am still numb on the right side of my face/mouth. I don’t feel a thing, even when I poke at it with knives and fire! According to the surgeon, this means one of two things: 1. The nerve has gone dormant, and will return to normal within the next few weeks, or 2. I’m turning into a cyborg.

Stay tuned for the outcome of Amanda’s face, coming soon to a theater near you.

March 31: I will finally, thankfully, after 3 months of commuting, be moving to Austin! It’s an exciting change, but as you all know, even exciting changes come with stress-induced acne, sleepless nights, unforeseen expenses –- and a crap-ton of cardboard boxes.

 

 

 

moveitis1

If you’ve ever moved before, you know that the process is somewhat daunting. Dishes need to be carefully wrapped, boxes neatly packed, and holes in the wall gingerly spackled. But you also still have to live in the hellhole you’re trying to leave, which means re-using the same plastic fork, re-wearing the same outfit, and making weird meals out of hotdogs, noodles, and Jello.

It’s no wonder you start to get a little frazzled. It’s a condition that I like to call, “Move-itis.”

Symptoms of Move-itis:

  1. Second-Guessing. Happens in the beginning stages of a move, when you realize how much you have to do, and how many places you have to contact with your new address. You start to think maybe you should just stay put to avoid the whole circus. Forever.
  1. Anxious Tetris. When you find yourself overly concerned with packing the boxes so perfectly, that a single grape could not fit inside, and yet – it’s not overstuffed. It’s neatly filled to the brim. This feat of engineering is basically impossible, so you find yourself trying a number of different combinations with frustration, before finally giving up.
  1. Rage-filled Unpackings. Taking several minutes to thoughtfully pack a box and adhere it closed with several layers of tape, only to realize you need an item from inside of it. This symptom may be met with amusement and mild-mannered face-palming the first 7 times it happens, but on the 8th time, you’ve lost patience with yourself and with the whole idea of moving, so you find yourself ripping into the box with your talons and fangs, and soon all you can see is bits of tape and cardboard flying everywhere, and all you can hear is the sounds of growling and roaring, and then you realize it’s all coming from you, but it’s not enough to stop you until you’ve reached the goddamn item you so stupidly packed.
  1. Box Begging. You run out of boxes and containers, but still have a lot left to pack. You wander into various businesses and ask them, with desperate eyes, if you can have theirs. In the severe stages, you may stalk people in the grocery store for signs that they may have recently moved and therefore have boxes to share. (Sign 1: They’re sweaty, dirty, and buying large appliances.)
  1. Cyclic Wandering. Being unable to find the packing tape, so you wander around your apartment looking for it, only to get distracted by the pile of bedsheets you meant to box up earlier. After filling the box, you realize that you need the tape again, so you go look for it in the kitchen, only to notice the growing pile of trash and be reminded that you need to take it the dumpster. On the way back in, you see all the open boxes and go hunting for the tape again, but this time you see your bed looking all lonely and decide to take a little nap. The longer this cycle goes on, the more severe your syndrome is.

If you suspect you may have Move-itis, call your doctor immediately. He won’t be able to cure it, but maybe he can prescribe you something strong enough to find the whole situation highly amusing.

 

 

 

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13 thoughts on “Symptoms of Move-itis

  1. I would love to move… in theory. But in reality… packing up a 4-person house… including outdoor stuff… well, that would be hell. Or worse. But I want to go away from the suburban chaos. Never in my life (before now) would I have ever thought I’d want to live in the middle of nowhere… but that would make me so happy right now… All calm and mellow and quiet… *sigh* Perfect.

    I hope you regain feeling in your mouth… and I hope the move goes smoothly!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ugh, I don’t even want to imagine packing up and moving a whole family! NOPE. I understand how anti-suburbia could be so tempting. My little rural area is quiet…laid-back…and you can get anywhere in 5 minutes. I’m excited to be living in a city again, but I’m sure it won’t be long before the hustle & bustle is grating on my introverted nerves. But then again – there are so many more restaurants to choose from! Sigh. Is it too much to ask that my place of residence meet my every desire?

      I also hope the feeling comes back, because I will quickly lose my small sense of humor about it if I find out its permanent 🤞😬

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I grew up in what felt like the middle of nowhere but it really wasn’t. I wanted to be somewhere more like where I am now. But I’m just too close to a major city now and I’m sick of the traffic and the people. So many people. This may be why I hate people. I have dreams of running off to live on a farm or a cabin in the woods or something…!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’ll probably be me in about six months haha. I don’t like being around tons of people either! I like my peace and quiet and space. But at the same time, I think it’s easier to blend in with the crowd in a city. And all the restaurants, did I mention the restaurants??

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yeah… restaurants. ☺ Sometimes I go for a long drive in the direction of ‘away’… I can’t wait ’til the weather gets a little more spring-like… that’s my favorite time for those drives… 🌻🌼🌷🌸🌺

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I should get married for the sole purpose of having that deal! Lol! I think the change of address thing bugs me the most – I want there to be a giant database that holds all of our info on it, so you just change the address on that and everybody automatically knows. I mean, that’s probably a terrible invention, but at least it’d be convenient 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Ah, congrats on your move! I’ve never been to Austin (or Texas, actually) but have heard very good things about it. Sounds like a cool place to live. Hope your mouth feels better soon too.. bad had my wisdom teeth removed when I was 13 and remember not being able to eat anything good for a while. You could probably eat queso but not with chips (I remember thinking about how much tortilla chips would suck at the time).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s awesome! I’m excited about the move. I’m definitely off tortilla chips for awhile haha. I miss chips with my queso, but the idea of those hard sharp edges stabbing me in one of my holes has me shuddering! I’ll stick with my soft, non-abrasive foods for now. Maybe I’ll just eat the queso with a spoon 😉

      By the way – THIRTEEN?! That’s the youngest I’ve heard of getting them out. You must have had very advanced teeth…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The idea of piercing chip edges was terrible enough for me to still remember the horrors of picturing it, haha. I hope you’re feeling much better now.

        It was awfully young to have wisdom teeth, come to think of it. I have overachieving teeth. I kept telling them that life is a marathon, not a race, and that building a proper social life and having varied interests was more important than outrunning their peers… but they wouldn’t listen and what do you know? They end up peaking early and getting extracted before their time. Some teeth just won’t listen.

        Like

  3. Pingback: Queso Critique – Polvos – Just in Queso

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