When Body Parts Rebel

I thought my eyes and I had a good relationship going. I use them to drive and watch TV, and they even help me find lost items, such as bits of popcorn that have fallen in my bra. Even my eyelids are useful! They’re like little curtains for my eyes when I need to sneeze or sleep. Granted, I poke and prod them with eye makeup a lot, but that’s only because I like them so much and want others to notice them.

APPARENTLY my left eye is feeling unappreciated. APPARENTLY it’s sick of this bullshit, and is calling for mutiny.

A couple weeks ago, I woke up to discover a stye on my eye. That’s right, everyone! STYE and EYE rhyme! Hahahahahaha. Haha. Ha. If you didn’t have a hearty chuckle over that, you clearly don’t have a sophisticated sense of humor, because it’s brought endless hours of entertainment to my so-called loved ones.

If you’ve never had a stye, it’s this tender, red bump that forms on your eyelid, up close to the lashes. It’s not fun, and it makes the makeup process a bit more challenging, but it usually goes away on its own in a few days.

Turns out, this critter ain’t no stye. Or maybe it was a stye at one time, but it got pissed about my nonchalance towards it, so it decided to up its game. It’s pulled out the heavy artillery.

Here’s a dramatic reenactment:

stye

Now my whole eyelid is red, painful, and puffy, and even droops so that it looks as though I’m half-winking all the time. No, I’m not flirting with you, sir. You can stop winking back.

I’m unwilling to post a picture of myself in order to preserve my anonymity (and vanity), but I will provide some example comments from loving friends and family who have witnessed The Eye:

 “Eeeek! Lord have mercy!” – my mother

 “You look like the bride of Frankenstein.” – also my mother

 “It hurts me to look at that.” – a friend

I sort of felt like crying when I looked in the mirror this morning, but I was afraid that the salt in my tears would make the swelling even worse, so I’ve decided instead to deliriously smile and insist that I’m totally okay and comfortable with all of this.

stye2

stye3

stye4

stye5

Don’t worry friends, I plan to march my eye to the doctor first thing tomorrow, where perhaps we can figure out a battle strategy together. I think we’re going to need to take major action to show this bastard who’s boss.

How’s your Sunday going? Any of your body parts revolting?

 

 

 

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23 thoughts on “When Body Parts Rebel

  1. thoughts36

    Haha, I love that, “eyelids are like little curtains”. Aww, nothing worse than a sore eye, hope it soon gets fixed. You should throw your eye makeup and get new tho’, eyeliners and mascara harbour germs and bacteria.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Well, no parts are rebelling here unless you count hot flashes and night sweats from Hell. Come to think of it, Satan visited me last night and agreed Hell was cooler than me.
    I’m pretty sure he meant the temperature….
    Good luck with the eye!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I had a weird day last week where I felt boiling lava hot for no reason. I was fanning myself and absolutely convinced that the a/c was off, but nobody else was feeling hot. Not sure what that was about, but if a hot flash is anything like that, you have my sympathies! Moving to Antartica sounds pretty good right about now, doesn’t it?

      Thanks, hopefully I’ll get to keep it 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep, that’s what a hot flash is like. With me, there’s no warning either, just BAM! I had my first the day after my hysterectomy. Once I found out what night sweats were, I pondered middle of the night showers.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. No parts rebelling today. However late Friday night and parts of Saturday my whole lower half was was mocking my initial joy at still being ‘concert girl’ at 50. It turns out once the music stopped, after a couple hours of busting a move on the concrete, I am not.
    Maybe you could try an eye patch. It could have its own Twitter account.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t think it’s a sign that you’re no longer a concert girl – if anything, I think you should attend MORE concerts. Yes.

      I’m intrigued by the idea of my eye and its patch having their own Twitter account. It could be quite fun channeling their feelings of mutiny!

      Like

    1. Thanks for the well wishes. Hopefully the doctor can do something for me!

      Haha at first I was going to say looking for my keys, but then I thought, let’s be honest – you never lose your keys. On the other hand, food falling down my shirt is a frequent occurrence 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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